Wouldn't it be great if we humans thought of change as our therapists would like us to.....a second chance, a challenge, another door opening, a fresh start, a do-over. But most of us don't. I know I think of change as a BAD thing...uncertainty, confusion, painful & tearful, a leave of absence from the comfort zone, just plain scary. I like my warm & fuzzy sweaters & socks, my mac, cheese & fried bologna. Recently, there was something that happened that would shake my foundation a bit. I felt scared, uncertain, worried.
Well, it just so happens that I have just finished two good books on worry/anxiety/stress. The first is The Worry Cure by Robert Leahy, a cognitive therapist and the second book is Nerve by Taylor Clark, a researcher. Low & behold the first thing that I read is that there are no quarantees in life. I am sure you are saying everyone knows that,come on, of course everyone knows that, right? Well, let me tell you that I have spent the better part of my life trying to get a guarantee. I want 100% certainty that my life will continue with no bumps or lumps, no BAD stuff happening. I constantly check & re-check things looking for reassurance. I am hyper-vigilant, always thinking of the bad thing that could happen amidst all the fun. My pediatrician thought it was uncanny how I would have my kids in his office before any illness had a chance to take root. It has been my job in life to see danger from 50 miles away, so that I could prevent anything bad from happening. If I did not stay on top of things and something bad happened, it would be my fault. Can you even imagine having this kind of power? Imagine is right because that is just where this power lies, in my imagin-ation.
So, I will be re-reading my two good books after I give myself a week or so to contemplate what I have learned from them. I realize that I need to change. What? Change? Me change? Yes, time to change..long overdue. I will say that this little bump on the long road of life has made me realize that I have been down this road before. I have been through some life altering changes in the past and I have survived. I have done more than survive, I have thrived.
So, look out opening doors, here I come..I might just knock you off your hinges ! Peace.
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